THURSDAY, 08 SEPTEMBER 2005

I just found out from the husband, who still works for the company we both worked for in Portland, that the lady who was hired to replace me, a complete MORON with no class, was canned by my old boss. I about did a twirly dance right there in my cubicle when I heard the news.

See, we moved to this great city at the end of July, and I had set my last day of work as July 22nd. The dummies in HR hired a replacement for me at the end of June, so I had 4 whole weeks of training with this new person, which (insert sarcasm here) isn't at ALL an akward situation and was SUCH a good idea. Not only that, but to add insult to injury, the lady they hired was bone-headed and gap-toothed and just all around lame.

I tried to stop it. HR invited me to be a part of the interview process. I'd like to think it was because they valued my opinion, which they didn't, I found out. I told them I thought there were better applicants to be found and to please keep looking, and I didn't think she'd make a good fit for the company, blah blah blah. Another tid bit: my boss was a big sweetheart; shy, easily embarrassed, and so busy that he seemed to be running about constantly trying to remember things and getting thoughts confused and so being his assistant had sort of morphed into being his mother, so to speak. I'd get his lunch just the way he wanted it, pay his bills on time so he wouldn't forget, and basically try and be a mind reader when he'd come to my desk and say "I need� uhhhh� what was I coming over here for?" So I figured they should hire somebody with mental clarity and an ability to pick up on subtle things. This chick, being thick as a two-by-four, wasn't going to cut it.

They hired her anyway, you saw that coming, and then as I'm training her I notice she is, in fact stupid . I showed her the kitchen and where the fridges were and she said, I totally kid you not, "Where are the lunches?" I tried to decipher what she could mean, or translate it into something that made sense, but all I could come up with was DOES THIS WOMAN EXPECT THERE TO BE FREE LUNCHES SITTING OUT? and IN THE FRIDGE, DUH! When I asked her to clarify, she looked at me like she hadn't been talking at all, and hmmmm? what? She did that a lot, I'd be training her (and she never took notes, or even LOOKED like she was registering ANYTHING I was saying) and she'd come up with questions like "How do I fill out a form for that?" where there was no form anywhere for anything and again with the duuuuuhh look on her face like she was a monkey. I went to my superior (a guy who PRETENDS to be nice, but is really just a jerk) and explained that training was not going well, and he looked all concerned but as soon as I left, he probably laughed and made rude gestures, who knows.

Anyway, she was fired today, because it turns out she didn't measure up to the impressive standard I set for the position (Lah De Dah) and the world is now at peace. And, more importantly, I was right all along (as usual) and can now do an I Told You So dance along with my twirly dance. I'm doing this right now.

AND OH MY GOOD GRAVY I JUST FOUND OUT SHE WAS HIRED ON AT $2 MORE AN HOUR THAN I WAS. And I was the GOOD employee. The one SHE DIDN'T MEASURE UP TO. Pardon me while I yell some expletives out the window. GOOD HOLY HELL!

I ask you! where is the justice in this world?